Month: October 2013

Holy Grail Your Truth

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My Truth
My Truth

I have always been on a quest for the truth.  My truth. Cut to the bone, dyed in the wool, so help me God Truth. Ever since I can remember I wanted to know why I was what I was.  I believed totally the axiom – that truth will set you free.

Now I’m a septuagenarian I realise there is no such thing as Truth. Let me explain,  I see truth as purely subjective. My truth is not your truth and equally your truth is not mine.

Truth is truth I hear you say there can be no argument with the truth. Like the sky is blue and grass is green. We can’t argue with that, unless of course we are colour blind.

We can’t argue with scientific facts can we? After all it is proven. But I have been around long enough to see how often scientific dogma has had to back flip.

For example, as a home economist by profession,I have seen the dietary guidelines change from carbs’ being the villain in our diet to carbs’ being the hero and onto present day when carbs’ are once more on the downward spiral.  Of course we could say that is just the evolution of scientific learning.

And like science our own search for our holy grail of our inner Truth will evolve. Some will never search for the truth, it may be that they are happy with their particular status quo or it is simply too painful to explore. But a search for the authentic you – may simply be a wild guru chase unless fundamental changes are accepted and accommodated.

Our Truth is shaped by our ingrained beliefs. Just like the evolution of a crystal. Molecules gather together in a uniform and repeating pattern. The shape and characteristic of each crystal is always the same. Similarly our Truth will always be subject to our beliefs. So unless we are conscious of this and willing to test our truths with others, our take on our own truth will always be one-eyed.

Over the years I have been fortunate to work with William Whitecloud who wrote Magician’s Way and The Last Shaman.  Two of the most powerful books you could ever read.  If you are on a path to consciousness reading these will give you the tools to find your inner TRUTH.

Friday Tips for Speakers – Praise of the Pause

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The Pause, a  second or two without speaking, is one of the most powerful elements you can use in speech delivery.

The Pause is to public speaking as a verbal underline or CAPS’ are to writing. Use it to emphasise your point or to add drama to your words.

The Pause will quiet a noisy audience.  Remember the school teacher who could quell a noisy class with a long cool look at the students. An over enthusiastic question time can rattle a speaker and it can get uncomfortable at the podium. Maintain quality eye contact while employing an extended pause and you will be able to take back control.  Bonus of the mute seconds is that it gives you time to think of a diplomatic or courteous answer.

The Pause is an effective tool when you are presenting a workshop. In your introduction to the workshop explain that when you need to recapture the group’s attention, following an interactive session, you will stop talking and raise your arm.  They in turn should stop speaking and raise their arm until the whole room becomes quiet. Works like magic.

At the lectern, just before you speak, Pause, make eye contact and smile. Try it – you will find the audience will reward you with a boost of pure welcoming energy.

Left brain Right brain

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Neuroscientists found that when they dumbed down the analytical side of the left-brain hemisphere – the right brain, which provides us with insight or intuitive responses, was clearer sharper and demonstrated enhanced creativity and innovation.

It seems that simple steps like brushing your teeth with your weak hand, travelling a new and different route home or eating foods that you have never tried before will stimulate and improve our overall brain development.

But can we improve our insightful  thinking (what I would call creative intuition) without an attendant neuroscientist zapping half of our brain with electrical impulses to temporarily still our left-brain’s predictive course of thinking?

Can we grow our well-spring of creativity?

When I write, I’m single-minded, totally focused, in the zone. If I was in an MRI scanner I’m sure it could be seen that both sides of my brain would be contributing.

But the most valuable moments of creativity for me frequently occur after  I have had time out.  After I meditate, take a walk along the beach focusing on the ocean, reflect on a good movie, or take an adventure break by going somewhere new.  Seeing things as though I was seeing them for the first time. The light bulb moments come when my brain is not busy with the grey chatter of the day or  my  treadmill thinking. They come when  my neurons are having a break from firing along their well trod pathways.

For a few years now I have deliberately practiced developing my intuitive ability. At first I found it hard not to indulge the analytical side as it could and still can be extremely persuasive in the case it presents.   But over time and many personal development courses I have found ways to disengage the finger wagging left brain and increase the  ‘yeh baby’  creative moments.

Inner ChildThis is where this picture on the left plays its part.  Meet little Me, aged four’ish.  My inner child.  I see her shy but triumphant smile as she tries to ride her older sister’s bike.  I identify with her trusting quality of innocence; she simply does not recognise that she is not big enough to fully reach the peddles  to make the wheels turn. She is in the moment of loving being able to ride the bike unconcerned that the bike will remain stationary.

My inner child image is my express route to my intuition. I visualise  her proudly sitting on her two sizes too large tricycle and this  curbs  my busy left-brain. In this quiet well of connection I set my intention to receive whatever guidance  I need, may be its a plot snag or a character’s flaws. As I continue to focus on this specific image of my inner child I find I experience once again  her  moment of elation and feel her joyful innocence. It creates the same mind flora as  the aftermath of time out but with more purpose. I find my intuition gives up guidance and answers like slices of golden toast in a pop-up toaster.

A mental image does not have to be a picture of you as a young child that is just my way of leaving the wallpaper behind and soaring to different places. For you it could be something from nature, a loved pet or any  image that allows you to identify with a joyful experience and importantly captures that feeling of innocence – seeing things as though you are seeing them for the first time. 

It is a simple technique but so effective. Similar to developing any part of our muscular system it requires regular practice to access it at will and determination to trust what you receive.

Try it I think you will be amazed.

.

Friday Tips – Travel Writing

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Grand Palace Bangkok
Grand Palace Bangkok

What is common to both good fiction and travel writing?  Read Benji Lanyado, Guardian writer and blogger’s valuable advice on  what should be every new writer’s mantra Show Don’t Tell.

‘My golden rule when writing a piece is to include as much visual description as possible. It’s easy to presume a lot, but your readers don’t know what you’ve seen. So explain it as vividly as possible. Don’t ever describe something as “characterful” or “beautiful” – this doesn’t mean anything to anybody but you. Describe things as if you were explaining them to a blind person. To say a building is “old” isn’t good enough; explain the colours, the peeling stucco, the elaborate, angular finishes on windowsills, the cleaning lady in a faded blue smock who was leaning out of a second-storey window with a cigarette dangling from her mouth. There is a thin line between elaborate, colourful, evocative writing and pretentious tosh, but it’s better to lean towards the pretentious tosh side of the spectrum than to be dull and presumptuous.
’

Travel – Fun for all ages in Dubai

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 The falcon was a distant blip in a sand gauzed blue sky. The afternoon sun in the desert was biting hot as we watched the falconer spin the feathered lure high.  The bird circled eyeing his prey, then folded his wings and dropped at missile speed to pluck the lure mid air. The demonstration was our introduction to one of Dubai’s most popular attractions – the Desert Safari.

This desert experience proved to be our family’s highlight in our five-day stay.  The roller coaster ride in the 4 x 4 vehicles as we surfed the sand dunes was wild. A bit pulse racing at times as we roared to the top of what looked a small mountain of desert sand only to drop safely over the other side. The children aged ten and eight years, particularly loved the camel rides. My daughter was at one with spiritual quietness of the desert starlit night and my husband and son-in-law could not fault feasting on barbeque lamb while watching an exotic belly dancer. Me, well I was imagining being scooped up by a handsome  Omar Sharif look alike and taken off to his Bedouin camp for a night of ,,,,,,,,,,,.  Ahhh, there is something about those Sheikhs in their white kanduras.

Four decades ago Dubai was a small fishing village. The towering landmarks now stand where once it was sand. It is a city on steroids growing daily, a vision of its engineering and architectural feats. Shopping malls and luxury resorts provide the landscape for the jewels in the Dubai crown.  The tallest man made building in the world the one hundred and sixty four floor Burj Khalifa that almost eclipses the awe of the iconic luxury hotel Burj Al Arab rising like a ship’s sail from the ocean. To this fantasy are the offshore artificial islands that can be seen clearly from space, The Palm Jumeirah and, still under construction, The World, a sand dredged archipelago of a map of the world.

IMG_4223We took a hop on, hop off bus tour on day one. The Big Bus Tour covers two routes, the city and the beach. If you do both it will take over four hours, without any stops. The open-air double-decker bus is air-conditioned on the lower deck and partially on the upper deck and provides complimentary earphones to plug into the excellent commentary as you tour.  The buses run every twenty minutes so it as a convenient way to experience the city sights and there was sufficient hop off attractions in our day to keep the children happy.  But if you know where you want to go the Dubai Metro is the more efficient way to travel. Its clean and cheap providing you don’t mind the long walks from the stations to the city attractions.

Water sports were high on the children’s list but time was too short to do justice to either of the legendary waterparks of Aquaventure Dubai at the Atlantis Palm Hotel or the Wild Wadi Waterpark.  Both parks’ competing to provide the ultimate watery thrills and spills.  Top white knuckle experience is the Leap of Faith ride where you can plummet the six stories high ride in less than a second before finding yourself zipping through the acrylic tunnel surrounded with sharks and rays, depositing you in yet another shark filled pool.  Both parks offer day passes and a generous variety of rides and wave pool experiences. Our young ones opted for the open ocean, their donut ride while pulled behind a speedboat seemed to fit their degree of thrill spill needs.

Atlantis The Palm offers double daily ticket deals so that you can visit the Lost Chambers Aquarium with its 65,000 marine animals but for us we chose to visit the Dubai Aquarium at Dubai Mall. The mega aquarium, equivalent in size to fifty soccer pitches has the world’s largest viewing panel onto the Mall. You freely watch the marine display glide past or you can pay to walk the acrylic shark tunnel eleven metres under water and experience the thrill and closeness of sharks as they glide over and around you.  Aquarium ticket options provide additional attractions with the underwater zoo, a ride in a glass bottom boat or for the scuba divers in the family an aquarium shark walk.

For shopalics there are multiple malls and souks but the Dubai Mall ticked all of our family boxes and the day spent there only scratched the surface of its attractions. Designer and luxury shops to explore, an incredible choice of high quality restaurants and cafés, it is Metro accessible and the children’s entertainment wishes are well and truly met. Late in the day we made our way through the Mall onto the restaurant fringed forecourt of the Burj Khalifa Lake to watch the Dubai Fountain performance, think of the famous dancing fountains of Bellagio in Las Vegas and you have it.

KidZania on the second floor of Dubai Mall is a safe and fun haven for children between the ages of toddlers to sixteen years old. Parents can leave their children in the care of capable and qualified staff. The concept of KidZania is to offer children an opportunity to mimic the adult’s world. The centre is a kid’s size city with a hospital, TV station, shops and cafes where children can experience different jobs by role-playing. Fun of course but here they learn more about the world they live in.  Here little pilots fly planes, chefs make food, firemen slide down the pole and TV announcers speak to camera.

The Dubai Mall also has an ice rink but if that does not appeal, kids of all ages will love the Sega Republic the Japanese indoor theme park. The park offers cutting edge games of skill and adrenaline rush rides.  The park kept the men and the children happy for hours while my daughter and I window shopped our way round Galleries Lafayette, designer boutiques and Tiffany’s.

What a blessing if your trip coincides with a Friday, the beginning of the Emeriti weekend. You can join locals and expats for the legendary buffet brunches that offer guests the ultimate dining and wining experience. Most hotels stage these but if I were to choose it would be the glamorous Al Qasr.  The hotel is one of two that make up the Madinat Jumeriah resort. The hotels and its facilities resemble an ancient Arabian citadel. Enhance the Sinbad ambience by sailing in a traditional Abra as it glides through the resorts landscaped waterways and after brunch take a gentle walk through the lantern lit hallways of the Madiinat Souk to browse the range of fashion, jewellery and antique shops.

Scratch the surface of Dubai’s glitz and glamour and you find pure gold. We  enjoyed the attractions but all loved our brief insight to the Arabian culture. It is not cheap but boy it delivers.

Mary Atkins -2013

Friday Tips – Know Your Audience

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Who, why,what & when – getting your Audience to love you

Who are your audience?  

You need to appreciate how your audience is made up. What age range does the audience fit into? Do they all have a common interest?

Why are they at this occasion?

Is it work related or for relaxation? What is the unifying factor that bring them together?

What is the occasion?

You need to understand the significance of the occasion and how you can make your speech relevant or themed to the event or organisation.

When is the speech to be given?

The time of day will affect the response of the your audience.  Breakfast meetings audiences  you will find generally their retention of real information is at its peak.  An after lunch or dinner audience filled with good food, wine and company will be relaxed and looking for humour. Conference audiences are a there for a purpose and so will make the effort to retain information delivered but early afternoon audiences definitely flag.  Time for a speaker to preface their presentation by getting the audience to do a gentle physical stretch or two.

Whatever the time of the day audiences will always respond to humour and if it is self deprecating even more so.

How to be HAPPY

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I watched the great documentary HAPPY the other evening.  It gave glimpses of real life stories from around the world and interviews with the leading scientists in happiness research.

It showed that no matter whether you are living in a slum in India, a mosquito infested swamp in Louisiana or having a major accident that knocks your life sideways –  happiness can be yours.

Research by scientists in this field have found that people with extrinsic values that is fame, money or beauty are found to be more anxious, depressed and narcissistic whereas those with  intrinsic values –  developing meaningful relationships, personal growth and community involvement have a profound sense of well-being and self-esteem.

The jam and cream on the cake of a quest for happiness is attributed to being in the zone, in the flow or present in the moment.  Writing does it for me.

HAPPY by Wadi Rum Films

Friday Writing Tips – Non-Fiction

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A finger wagging style of writing  non-fiction does not always inspire alphabet-15461_150readers to sit up late into the early hours digesting page after page. Generally people who choose their ‘how to’ or non-fictional work do so for a purpose and you hope that  is sufficient to get them to turn the page.  The writing and the explanation required must go beyond thorough but often the reader finds it hard work.

My first book Finding Your Voice – Ten Steps to Successful Public Speaking, (published by Lothian in 2005) taught me a great deal about writing non-fiction.  Here are my 3 tips to keep the reader engrossed to the end the book.

Prepare an exhaustive overview. Define who, why, what and how key points, arguments, examples, anecdotal material and  illustrations. Plan the layout of chapters.

Keep it simple and keep it moving. Be critical – do you really need that 49th version of back story or why it is so? Recognise those tricked up, parlied up paras that fools the ego into believing the message was nailed it with a pretty turn of words and delete.  Keep it simple, keep it honest, keep it moving.

If you have publisher listen to your editor if not employ a quality editor.  Either a Developmental Editor who will help develop your project even before you start on the writing or a Substantive Editor  once you have a full text. Be open to suggestion, often you are too close to it to have vision. Be flexible to changes.

 

Friday Public Speaking Tips – Telling Your Story

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microphone
Your Running Mate

 

Telling your story is  a powerful strategy to connect with your audience. A motivational speaker will use their personal story to preface and enhance the core message of their presentation. But opportunities for telling your story are not limited to motivational speaking often speakers are called upon to talk about themselves or their work.    3 tips  for an effective presentation.

Planning the content – what are the pivotal parts of your story that uplift, illuminate or demonstrate who you are.  Remember that the audience does not need to know the warts ‘n all boring bits. 

Develop the key points of the story.  It is not enough to say I was an dyslexic child with low self-esteem, flesh it out more, give the audience examples of how it felt.  Have the courage to be in touch with your emotions. Audiences respond always to truth, honesty and authenticity.

Respect the telling of your story –   it has valuable life  lessons that you have learned so give it the respect it deserves.  Slow your pace, use fearless eye-contact  and pause for emphasis.  Rehearse and rehearse the speech until flows easily.  A little self-deprecating humour is a great ingredient to add to the mix if the material is overwhelming.

 

I want to join the circus

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I love the circus. Cirque du Soleil has trounced all of the homespun touring circuses of the recent past with their reliance on animal acts of lions, tigers and bejewelled elephants. Recently I visited the oldest touring circus in Australia. Joseph Ashton founded the family circus dynasty in 1853 and today the family has adapted the traditional acts to encompass new skills of physical daring.

Over the past two decades animal activists have lobbied hard to secure the release of performance animals from circuses. The Ashton family was faced with change or perish. now they have only two animal acts – dogs and stallions. Instead the circus family members from toddlers upwards pride themselves on a range of acrobatic, wire walking, juggling, trapeze and clown skills. Their tight little community multi tasks from box office duties, ring maintenance and selling hot chips and popcorn. All dedicated, all focused to continue the life of entertaining their audience. They will do what it takes to upscale their skills and come up with new acts to replace old, to compete with the high-tech glamour of Cirque du Soleil.

One act performed on the slack wire I found encapsulated the joy of a circus performer, with each new daring feat I saw how present in the moment the performer had to be to maintain his balance. The circus community pulls together and whether they are practicing or performing they are in the moment. In the joyful moment of who they are. In the moment that’s when we step into our power.