A slap on the butt of consciousness – 3 Lessons

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Falling Back to Earth by Cai Guo-Qiang

Yesterday three lessons came home to me soundly, like a slap on the butt of consciousness.

I was taken to see the Illusionist and an exhibition at the Gallery of Modern Art in Brisbane yesterday.  My daughter had booked months before for this amazing show for the family but her husband had to work and I was invited along in his place.  I almost didn’t go.  I was deeply into my enneagramatic #2 at this stage, the others-before-me emotional bolthole that I frequent. I reason I have genuinely a lot of work to do and don’t want to stand in her way – ‘Surely one of your friends…?’ I ask. She looks hurt ‘No Mum I offered it to you.’  There was disappointment in her voice.  Like Robin hearing the call of Batman my server #2 leapt into action, how could I let her down ‘then of course I will come.’  Where was what I wanted in this equation?  My heart expands with joy with the impact of live art whether it be a play, a show or a stunning exhibition and yet – I was as usual dumbing down my desire, work to do I should be at the computer face instead of out enjoying myself. The day was magnificent beyond my wildest expectations it renewed me, it filled me with inspiration and wonder.


UnknownLesson #1:
don’t deny your heart — grab each and every opportunity to make your heart sing.

The Illusionist Show was a collection of six magic maestros from around the globe all performing their signature magic art. I refuse to call these tricks.  Each illustration of their magical smoke and mirrors prowess so brilliantly conceived and delivered. The theatrical production of strobe lighting, three dimensional viewing and pulsing music filled your senses and each magic completion left you in awe.  There was talk from people in the interval about how the ‘trick’ was done ‘didn’t you see his hand up his sleeve?’ I moved away I did not want anything to interfere with my childlike wonder, like my grand daughters, I was simply in awe of the mystery.

 

smell-flower-summer-present-momentLesson #2: when you are in the ‘how’ you loose the magic. All you have to do is simply be present in the moment and you will be taken upon a technicolour joyful ride beyond your wildest senses.

The exhibition of Cai Guo-Qiang’s Falling Back to Earth with 99 life size animals from every hemisphere of the globe drinking from a large pool of sky blue water was in contrast serene, no music, no frenzied lighting no backdrops simply a steady drop of water to break the tension of the pale blue pool that rippled softly to the shore.   Of course we all read into it what we wanted, there the artist’s explanation and also in his gravity defying flying wolves exhibition.  We don’t all follow in an orderly conformist opinion even if we glimpse an understanding of the artistic intention.  Art goes beyond the creator and touches others in ways the artist could not imagine.

 

UnknownLesson #3 we each see what we want to see but if we are open and still to truly absorb, we see what we need to see.

And one final lesson: Receiving with an open heart is just as beautiful as giving – truly grateful for a magical day.

 

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Changing thoughts on being a 2

I know that I’m pure energy and that the thoughts that I generate have complete dominion over my reality. So I set myself the task of diligently observing my thinking and  I am beginning to understand how much brain activity I invest into negative or victim thoughts.

To give you an understanding of the canvas I am working with, I am a number 2 on the Enneagram profiling scale. This personality profile is defined as the ‘Helper’ or ‘Giver’

You would recognise the type as some one who has a natural empathy, is there in a crisis, or intuitively works out in a flash how to help/please/make you feel good.  Nice people yes because there is a deep caring there but the dark side is that we 2’s have a pathological need for your approval. We suppress our own needs as we give, understand and help but if this is not given the right approbation, recognition or level of appreciation God help you as the sweetness transforms into a shrew.   I’m in conflict as I write these words wanting to say unfair, unfair. Not me I’m evolved, my consciousness is awake.  I do things for the purest motives. I’m lovely!  Really Mary?

But with a detached observation, I notice that those poor little me, dark thoughts – Nigredo – will give me a dull achy type pain in my sinus area. I am sure if I was scanned while indulging in this putrefying nastiness, neurologists would identify exactly where the activity was happening in my brain. Thoughts of love, laughter and creativity – Albedo – conversely pulsate a blissful rainbow of colour and peace rising up, so it seems to me from my heart and suffusing my brain to match the vibration of the universe.  These are the same feelings that I get when I meditate.

With the Nigredo thoughts comes pain that pulls down a heaviness, a darkness into my body but with the Albedo there is a feeling of nurture, like the warmth of a loved one’s arms about you or the gentlest kiss.  It is all about softness whereas the mean manipulative thoughts are harsh, gritty like flint in a wound.

I’m trying to train myself  to identify that pain associated with the negative thought the instant it occurs, to act like a warning klaxon to stop the victim/the world has done me wrong  thoughts worming in, waiting for any opportunity to take me down.

Awareness of course, being in the present is route to consciousness. The path of being in the present for me is identify the pain or the joy that a thought gives me. Then I can use my will, to change the pain of the negative thought into a vibration of joy.

By transforming a dense leaden contemplation into golden bliss choices – that is true alchemy. ‘How clever I am,’ I think, ‘I could start something here.’  But Mary you know this is not new, wise men, the holy men have been saying this throughout the ages. So why has it taken me so long when I knew it intellectually? The truth is I, like you, needed to be ready to embrace this wisdom –  to make it my own. Frank Sinatra nailed it  –To think I did all that, And may I say, not in a shy way, Oh, no, oh, no, not me, I did it my way.