The Path To Your Real Self

Nature-WallpaperAt first the search for your Real Self can be imbued with an ambition to be more than you think you are. Not content with being a mere mortal but wanting to project yourself as a super person. I have a friend whose verbal tag line is ‘I don’t do ordinary – I do excellent’ which, would be seen in the world of commerce as commendable. But authentic self is about the simple act of being, living what you love, without the constraints of trying to achieve. The egotistical ways of wanting more, being more will need to slough away for you to live the authentic you.   Simply by being you become a beacon to others. I prefer to embrace ‘I DO DO ordinary, but I live it extraordinarily well.’

The intention of seeking your Real Self causes the ego to go into defence mode to keep you safe in your status quo; it only knows the well-worn path of your trampling belief system and its hunger to be recognised. And like any good defender of its perceived realm it will create strategies to slow you and stop you from reclaiming your authentic sovereignty of your Real Self.

Asking yourself ‘what do I love?’ is the key to finding your Real Self. For some this question will easy, they have always known from childhood where the direction of their true gifts lies. But for others whose truth has been in hiding it will need more persistence. Whether the initial answer comes easily or with a dedicated effort the repeated practise of asking ‘what do I love?’ intuitively rather than intellectually will get you there.

Why intuitively? Any intellectual deliberation will always be permeated with our default thinking. By setting our intention to receive intuitively we are tapping into our own reliable source of truth.

Before you dismiss receiving an ‘intuitive’ answer as something new age, bordering on flaky, consider the following. Leading scientific and philosophical thinkers of our time valued intuition above intellect. Evidence of this may be found in telling quotes from Albert Einstein (‘The only real valuable thing is intuition) Henri Poincare, Frank Capra, Jonas Salk, Immanuel Kant, Lao Tzu, Steve Jobs and many others. But Robert Graves, poet, novelist and critic put it most succinctly – Intuition is the supra-logic that cuts out all the routine processes of thought and leaps straight from the problem to the answer.

 We have all heard about the fireman whose insistent inner voice commanded him to get out of the burning house moments before the flaming beams crashed to the spot where he had been standing. A powerful  illustration of intuitive guidance that is available to us if only we will listen. We can tap into our intuition any time but most of us dismiss that patient quiet voice of guidance or action.

Purposeful intuition is accessed best in a quiet, still environment – meditation or a time spent communing with nature. I like to put myself in an imaginary circle. I see the circle as a sacred space. Silently voice your intention to serve yourself and to receive. At first the mind likes to throw up all kinds of dross – simply observe and acknowledge, as you would clouds moving slowly across a sky.

You will find Intuition delivers answers in different ways; you may get a symbol, a song, a feeling, a written word or a clearly spoken message in your head. Occasionally the answer might not come at that time but will come later in a synchronistic manner that defies ignoring. If the answer is obtuse look at what is obvious about this, what it might mean to you, if you’re unsure ask for more clarity. But the more you practice, answers are more easily read.

The question ‘what do I love?’ seems simple but we are multi dimensional beings who delight in many things from a hug from a loved one, a picture of a baby, coffee with a friend, a favourite book, good movie or a walk on the beach. Some characteristics of things that you are good at may give you direction but you will need to sift through these to elicit the most powerful connection. But frequently asking the question ‘what do I love?’ will plumb the depths and breadths of the real you.

finding-your-voice1There was nothing original in the title Finding Your Voice my self-help guide to public speaking book . Variations of ‘finding your voice,’ ‘having a voice’ or simply ‘a voice,’ are well known metaphors and cliché for living your truth. But my unwitting and decisive choice of naming it Finding Your Voice proved to be the open door and ongoing breadcrumb trail to who I am. At first the answer was generic – ‘a writer’ but as I kept asking the question I saw that it was leading me down paths that I had never considered. Giving me temerity to write a novel, speak up for what my heart and muse perceives as social injustice or  simply a desire to share a travel adventure. And wait,  I know there is more ….. I just need to keep asking ‘what do I love?’

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Follow the Crumbs ……

Follow the crumbs....
Follow the crumbs….

Since 9.11 there has been a spate of reported incidents of people randomly seeing the number 11.11. You know the type of thing –  11.11 jumps at you from a page, a scoreboard, bus time-table,petrol bowser or a mystical grab of a digital clock at exactly 11.11. Chance maybe, coincidence definitely but for some it is happening beyond mere chance and coincidence.

A journey of self-discovery will nudge us with cryptic clues that are intended to guide us. Three words, Finding Your Voice, the title of my first book  had been flirting with my subconscious to no avail for several years. After all I had found my heart, writing was without doubt the imprimatur of my soul. I needed no goading no nudging into writing, my computer became my altar where running words in my head was given the breath of life from the keyboard. But during this past year or so the synchronistic crumbs of FYV have been unrelenting in getting me to see a bigger picture.

Sometimes things can be so blooming obvious that we are blind to them. But my muse was not – she was insistent that social injustices needed a commentary until words circled my head like vultures looking for a feed and only quietened when I found my voice through my Blog or a Face book posting.

Finding Your Voice, which I had chosen so decisively for my book of self-help guide to public speaking, was much more than a title; from the very start I could now see that it had been an intuitive directive for me to find my own voice. Yes I spoke in public but throughout my life I had always held back anything that might be regarded as contentious. But the paradox was any voice suppressed is under enormous pressure and when grievances reach danger levels we erupt. All of the stuff that I should have said in a reasonable balanced way blasted pugnaciously from me like a scene from The Exorcist. So for someone whose ego so desperately wanted to please and be liked it was a tough road to consciousness.

I understand now how each synchronistic piece of the puzzle fell into place knowing that finding my voice and speaking or writing it in a well-considered manner is inherent to writing with authority as well as being crucial to my well-being and sense of authenticity.

But of course the crumb trail of Finding Your Voice is still much more. Look out for my next Blog about how I can help you find your voice, your truth.

finding-your-voice1

Finding Your Voice was published by Lothian in 1985 and was promoted as the definitive self-help guide to public speaking. The first part of the book was the how to and the second half devoted to every type of presentation that may be undertaken by the reader – from eulogy to debating and workshop presentation to after dinner speaker. Now out of distribution it is available in public libraries and recently can be purchased as an E-Book on Kindle.

 

 

In Memory

imagesDo you realise that death is sexy? No? You obviously have not been watching enough daytime television. I’m talking about the surfeit of ads for funeral expense cover. Advertisements with symbolic backgrounds of fluffy white clouds fading into the distance of verdant hills and valleys which feature folk who provide us with a specious ‘neat and tidy’ sense of their loss.  The superficial scripting invariably shows an actor place a forefinger softly to their lips as they stare into the distance, indicating their wistful remembrance of their Mum/Dad/Aunty/Uncle. The lead turns to the camera, pauses momentarily, before they warmly endorse the benefits of the deceased’s choice of funeral plan or funeral home. ‘It made it so easy for us at a time when we needed support.’ Action: a clutch of a lace trimmed handkerchief before once again staring into the distance.

Advertisers like to shield us from real grief, after all there is nothing sexy about raw, gut-wrenching grief is there? Their spin is that caring men and women will not leave their families burdened with the responsibility of their funeral needs. The message re-enforced with the use of strong minded and active geriatric parents in rude good health with images of them hitting a golf ball or driving away with the caravan in tow demonstrating that although they live life to the fullest they will always do the right thing by their families.

The subliminal message from these spin doctors is that death is a natural part of life and if you have done the right thing and organised your funeral plan your loved ones will be free of the burden of responsibility, and hypothetically allow them to manage their loss more conveniently. While those people that don’t buy obviously show no care for their families.

Recently in the mail I received a letter with the headline ‘What would your doctor say if he or she could see inside your arteries?’ It gave me descriptions of four serious silent diseases guaranteed to kill me but if I paid $199 NOW (saving $101) I could save my family heartache and despair. Early detection is vital it said – the same message that is drummed into us with every other scare-mongering health catch that drug companies like to promote.

Yes we are going to die, yes disease may manifest but aggressive marketing such as this is simply causes the vulnerable to focus on the negative. We need to come out of fear and trust in our own ability to act on our health when we think appropriate, not because some company is determined to make its profits from healthy people who may well will be swayed by fear to buy.

Personally I find this type of fear and guilt marketing pornographic. Its single aim is to shame people about the depth of their love of their family. Fear and shame our powerful motivators but we know that love is even greater. I’m sure most families would reflect their gift of love in organizing the last farewell gives them time to assimilate the shock of death and a bridge to the processing of their grief for the dearly departed.

Come Spoon With Me

William_Archibald_Spooner_Vanity_Fair_1898-04-21
William Archibold Spooner

My Intuition, in a quiet moment, delivered the message that I should write a stunning blog or did I hear  blunning stog?

Spoonerisms? cue the chud, of course I rationalise, they have all the hallmarks of a fun blog or it should read ballmarks of a glun hog. After all how much  do I love to cheekily spoonerise when driving past a truck –  thats a trucking fig buck. Yes, I shout,  go help me sod this is going to be the pun fart of my blogging career to date.

The Rev. William Archibold Spooner, was born in 1844.  He was a not the most handsome of men. A very small albino man, with poor eyesight and a head too large for his body. Some wit might unkindly liken his looks as plain as a dobbers rog. But clever, oh so clever his mercurial brain raced ahead and his tongue could not keep up, especially when he was agitated and so began his art of switching words around.

When Spooner had to give the toast to the visiting Queen Victoria, he excitedly said ‘Three cheers for our queer old dean.’ His delightful gaffs spread over into his ecclesiastical duties, officiating at a wedding he was heard to say to the groom ‘son it is now kisstomary to cuss the bride.’

I bet his congregation flocked to his services in the hope they could add to the list of his slip ups – our shoving leopardsope in the hole and the list goes on.

Well tis time for me to shake a tower and chew the doors and so that’s it for my blunning stog – just swort and sheet. Hopefully

 

Regrets I have a few …….

alphabet-15461_150Regrets I have a few,  but most too personal to mention.  It would be a rhino-opic wallow in the muddy waters of the ego if I indulged these tales of remorse. But one regret that bares writing about and should not exploit the reader’s emotions is that why did computers come so late into my life to try me?

I have just spent three hours getting my old Apple I Phone to sync with my new very smart 7.06 model.  Am I talking your language? Cause if so I need you in my life.

The saga is too long, too complicated and would bore you but if I say old software not only on my computer but on the phone, needed upgrading, computer not compatible with new upgrade, phone in two different names …….  You, who cheerfully and confidently punch a couple of keys to fix any techo problem would know how to fix this  in a jiffy.

I learned to type on the metal rimmed keys of an old Remmington that beside ripping the quicks of your finger nails they needed the strength of Samson to depress the keys to leave their metal imprint on the page.  You could say  I am like stone-age man who has been given a box of matches and a packet of fire-lighters where all he has ever known is the act of rubbing two sticks together to make fire.

I am completely challenged when it comes to understanding how a computer works, the penny dropping moment of understanding is hard won.  In my defense I do try.  It’s just that I seem to come to the solution so tardily. We used to call it Sod’s Law in my day that you tried every way but which way before success came.

Still I did it!  I transferred, strike transferred, I synced all my data from one mobile to the newie. I can put the frustration behind me until the next challenge.

Then once more I will say but  not in a shy way  – regrets I have a few…….

A slap on the butt of consciousness – 3 Lessons

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Falling Back to Earth by Cai Guo-Qiang

Yesterday three lessons came home to me soundly, like a slap on the butt of consciousness.

I was taken to see the Illusionist and an exhibition at the Gallery of Modern Art in Brisbane yesterday.  My daughter had booked months before for this amazing show for the family but her husband had to work and I was invited along in his place.  I almost didn’t go.  I was deeply into my enneagramatic #2 at this stage, the others-before-me emotional bolthole that I frequent. I reason I have genuinely a lot of work to do and don’t want to stand in her way – ‘Surely one of your friends…?’ I ask. She looks hurt ‘No Mum I offered it to you.’  There was disappointment in her voice.  Like Robin hearing the call of Batman my server #2 leapt into action, how could I let her down ‘then of course I will come.’  Where was what I wanted in this equation?  My heart expands with joy with the impact of live art whether it be a play, a show or a stunning exhibition and yet – I was as usual dumbing down my desire, work to do I should be at the computer face instead of out enjoying myself. The day was magnificent beyond my wildest expectations it renewed me, it filled me with inspiration and wonder.


UnknownLesson #1:
don’t deny your heart — grab each and every opportunity to make your heart sing.

The Illusionist Show was a collection of six magic maestros from around the globe all performing their signature magic art. I refuse to call these tricks.  Each illustration of their magical smoke and mirrors prowess so brilliantly conceived and delivered. The theatrical production of strobe lighting, three dimensional viewing and pulsing music filled your senses and each magic completion left you in awe.  There was talk from people in the interval about how the ‘trick’ was done ‘didn’t you see his hand up his sleeve?’ I moved away I did not want anything to interfere with my childlike wonder, like my grand daughters, I was simply in awe of the mystery.

 

smell-flower-summer-present-momentLesson #2: when you are in the ‘how’ you loose the magic. All you have to do is simply be present in the moment and you will be taken upon a technicolour joyful ride beyond your wildest senses.

The exhibition of Cai Guo-Qiang’s Falling Back to Earth with 99 life size animals from every hemisphere of the globe drinking from a large pool of sky blue water was in contrast serene, no music, no frenzied lighting no backdrops simply a steady drop of water to break the tension of the pale blue pool that rippled softly to the shore.   Of course we all read into it what we wanted, there the artist’s explanation and also in his gravity defying flying wolves exhibition.  We don’t all follow in an orderly conformist opinion even if we glimpse an understanding of the artistic intention.  Art goes beyond the creator and touches others in ways the artist could not imagine.

 

UnknownLesson #3 we each see what we want to see but if we are open and still to truly absorb, we see what we need to see.

And one final lesson: Receiving with an open heart is just as beautiful as giving – truly grateful for a magical day.

 

New Moon+New Year=Propitious Beginnings

Evidently the configuration of the planets coupled with a new moon on New Year’s Day makes it propitious for out with the old and birthing the new.  And if you couple this event with some sort of symbolic ceremony it can produce powerful results.

I have lost count of my swings of mood when it comes to New Year resolutions.  So many well-intentioned carefully worded I will be better, better, best slips of paper tucked into esoteric books only to be forgotten by the end of January.  And many end of the year’s cynicisms – no I never keep them so why make them – only to find the pendulum had fully swung the next year to sit with the new diary and my finest notepaper to write once again my hopes for improvement.

The trouble with most of my resolutions is the rigidity and censoring that I pen as my most desirable attributes for the following year. I’m sure this type of resolution is common to most I will diet and lose 5/10/ 15 kg (this a standard resolution for me repeated on all wishful thinking years) I will give up alcohol, carbs, chocolate and confectionary – I will be more patient, more forgiving – I will walk for 40 minutes a day and do stretches for another 30 minutes – I will be a better partner/friend/mother/sister – I will learn to reverse park better …. And the list goes on.

 Of course the dynamic new corporate agers would immediately say the reason they failed was because there was no identified goal, no time frame, no motivation.  No picture on the fridge of herself looking  a cool babe in a previously owned bikini or no image of her car reverse parked tidily within a cm  of the middle of the white lines.

But those on the road to enlightenment would say where are you placing the energy? The brain is not fooled it knows the ego’s pattern’s preferred tried and tested path for promised diets, exercise and reverse parking and will happily takes you for the ride through the well-worn structure.  Of course if you implement your will you might yo-yo for a while but in the end the old habits will prevail.

This New Year looks as though it might be a ball-breaker (according to the astrologers) so I’m working on a neat little ceremony to seal the my intentions for 2014.  But as I work towards the light I will give the universe every opportunity to do its magic by giving each intention its deserved vibration.  Instead of ‘must lose weight/give up the perceived evils and exercise’ it will be  –With gratitude I choose to honour my body and health.

 Not sure how to get my vibrations going in the right direction when reverse parking though – any thoughts gratefully received.