Seeing Red

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IMG_5069Oh, you can colour my world with happiness all the way!   Colour My World – Petula Clark 1966

Stats say that silver-coloured cars are the most visible on the road in any light and least likely to be involved in an accident. If you want to soothe the troubled brow then pink is first choice. Yes pink is no longer the hallmark of the pretty young thing created in Barbie’s image it is now being used effectively in prison and mental care facilities to subdue the violent or erratic souls that live within. Yellow and orange make us hungry and wearing bright colours make us more attractive to others as colours are responsible for creating the 60-90% of first impressions and it seems we like colour.

Blue evidently clocks in as the global favourite colour but not necessarily linked to the fact that dogs can only see blues and greens but  can’t see red. BTW it’s a myth that bulls charge when they see red, colour has nothing to do with it the bull simply responds to a moving object.  Little known fact that seeing red before an exam evidently decreases your chances of doing well but red before a race will spur you on to win.

Another red gem –  women have an easier time than men identifying the subtle changes in the colour red because we have an extra X chromosome which allows us to see the full spectrum of reds from crimson to maroon to pillar box red whereas the blokes see red as red, no finite shades just red.

Artists must be seventh heaven playing with all the shades and tones of the colour wheel. Examing objects more intensely than the rest of us, seeing the minute and myriad of shades that make up the integrity of each colour. As Edouard Manet said There are no lines in nature, only areas of colour, one against another.

If colour makes you dizzy, nauseous, panicked, gives you rapid heart rate and a headache you may suffer from chromophobia an irrational fear of colour. But the good news is it can be treated so you, like the rest of us, can celebrate the rainbow bounty of colour that surrounds us.

For me the brighter, biting and bolder, the better – crimson with purple, hot pink with British racing green, lavender with emerald, chocolate velvet brown with shiny patent-leather black and palettes of green upon green upon green. Artwork that leaps out at me like the red splash on the white canvas in the recent French film Intouchables or Brett Whitely’s Self Portrait in the Studio that holds your gaze forever with its stinging cobalt blue background. Definitely yes – You can colour my world with sunshine yellow each day. Oh, you can colour my world with happiness all the way! Just take the green from the grass and the blue from the sky up above! 

 

Mystical union between a speaker and audience

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Punchy, quality content must be a taken for any speech of merit but it is in the delivery that the true mettle of the speech will be proven.

Speaking Clubs offer regular speaking practice  and this will develop lectern confidence.  If you  couple this with learned techniques, like the pause, rhythm and colour in the voice to emphasis your message you will become a speaker of some competence.

I think the difference between a competent speaker and a memorable one is the individual who creates, what can only be termed as, a mystical union between him/her self and the audience.

This charismatic difference is found in a speaker who is authentic, completely warts and all true to his/her self.  Sometimes it needs a bit of coaching to push past our ego that wants to be seen as the dynamo at the lectern. It takes courage to accept the fact that you aren’t perfect. But when you are  unafraid to step into your authentic signature style – the audience will recognise the integrity of your language, posture and intent. They will reward you  with their responsive energy and you the speaker will experience the joy of  holding an audience in the palm of your hand.

Pet peeves. Speakers who do not run to time, complacent speakers who think they can wing it or use  jargon – so elitist.  Speakers who shy away from using a microphone,  read from their notes with no eye contact, But my all time head banging irritation is the rising inflection. No ladies and gentlemen it is not nerves that makes the voice squeak  it is a habit which is a barrier to the effectiveness of your communication. While the audience is still hanging with the question mark tremor at the end of your sentence that’s all they hear. It’s a habit a silly habit, record and listen to it and make an effort to quit it.

Here ends today’s lesson folks!

 My book ‘Finding Your Voice – Ten steps to successful public speaking’ in 2005. encapsulated  four decades of my speaking, training/coaching, speaker management and evaluation passion. Promoted by the publisher Lothian  as the definitive self-help guide to public speaking.

From my Soapbox -Are you right? Or are you right?

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IMG_5005In the 1950s/60s social etiquette decreed that middle class folks did not talk about politics, religion or sex at a dinner party. Mind you it really would not have mattered at all as most in the dinner party milieu of that time had pretty similar values. Sex, well it was a broad brush sniggering at the smutty jokes that were pertinent to the starter of half a grilled grapefruit studded with a cherry.  Religion was dutiful, rather than a spiritual choice and politics, you should be one-step ahead of me here, conservative with a capital C.

I was Conservative through and through. Both my parents were members of the Conservative Party and as a family we attended all of the fund-raising dances and events organised by our local branch.  We knew we were in the right. In WW2 my father commanded the Royal Artillery battalion that protected Winston Churchill who happened to be our local MP.  My father had a ‘man the gunboats’ view of life.   A mind-set that was born out of his war time experiences and his conviction of that in the long run ‘tough-love’ was best for all men whatever their race or creed. I too for many years shared these conservative values believing that it served the best interests of my country.

Now at the age of 75 I’m a Labour party voter, or for my American friends, a Democrat.  Difficult position because I still frequently swan around in the same pond of old conservative friends, so I adhere to the out-dated dinner-party creed when I’m enjoying their company. For me the switch was about my own gradual evolution.  An evolution marked with life’s passage of loss, marriage, children, a continuing spiritual quest and a mid-life crisis of ‘who the fuck am I?’

My Labour ideals are not based on a ‘bleeding heart’ mentality rather what I see as the softer  more important philosophical qualities of compassion.   The American Poet and Prophet Wendell Berry captures my beliefs in this quote  ‘To make a living is not to make a killing it’s to have enough.’

The demonising of politicians is reaching new levels of vitriol and hate as voters on both sides of the debate find we can’t trust our duly elected representatives. Equally politicians are put into the unenviable position of trying to capture our vote and protect their brand by any means including distorting and fabricating the facts. Sorry I mean lying. We as the public, if indeed we do take an interest, read right-wing editorials or left-wing articles and knee jerk respond accordingly.  Like angry spectators on the sidelines we barrack and cat call. Our party shows us the right way and the opposition is in the wrong.

It is patently evident on both sides of politics that not all politicians are clean. But if we were to take a more tolerant look at them and work on the premise that essentially politicians are well-intentioned people who go into parliament with a passion for addressing issues from their electorate or a desire to make sure that our country is managed effectively – then we have a starting point for a deeper understanding of what makes us tick.

Consider this question – whether it would be possible for both sides of politics to come an understanding that neither party is completely right or totally wrong. Imagine if they could walk in each other’s psychological sandshoes for a moment. If that could happen we may have terms for negotiation.

I don’t know about you but I’m tired of this paralysing righteousness that grips our country. No I don’t have the answers of how to fix the deficit, to be equal handed to the millions of refuges who wish so desperately to come to our country, develop impartial tax and welfare policies, to grow the economy or have an inkling of the requirements to grow new industries. That is why we pay our politicians.

Thinking you’re right does not mean you are. The 13th century Sufi mystic Rumi said ‘Somewhere between right and wrong there is a garden – I will meet you there.’

Social media, with its up to the minute is the game-changer. We see almost daily how the dynamics of a revolution has been changed by power of social media. With an avalanche of public opinion these political opponents may seriously consider talking to each other, I mean respectfully, honestly and without a whisper of sledging and who knows what bounty that could bring.

Tell your politicians of choice- there are some very nice gardens around Parliament House – get to it.

 

 

Give me a jar of coloured pens ………….

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IMG_5093If you are looking for a technique to make planning your work easy and affectice; whether it be the first draft stage of a speech or any written work , become a child again and create  a colourful Mind Map.

Mind mapping originated in the 1960s with Tony Buzan and allows you to generate an organic explosion of ideas.

Just like a road map a Mind Map will give you an overview of your topic, enables you to tap into the wealth of your imagination,  collect together large chunks of data and be enjoyable to review and  consider how to progress.

1. Take a sheet of blank unlined paper. Use it landscape rather than portrait style.

2. You will need a container of coloured pens and pencils.

3. In the centre of the page draw an image or write the topic  that you want to explore from there create logical and illogical branches of thoughts to spin off from the central title.

The one above is an old one of mine.  I create Mind Maps not only for work but for everyday issues where I need to see things more clearly. This Thoughts Shape Your Life Map  is very busy, the ideas just kept coming and I was running out of room but the finished Map gave me great clarity on how my everyday, every moment thoughts affected my life for the better or worse.

Regrets I have a few …….

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alphabet-15461_150Regrets I have a few,  but most too personal to mention.  It would be a rhino-opic wallow in the muddy waters of the ego if I indulged these tales of remorse. But one regret that bares writing about and should not exploit the reader’s emotions is that why did computers come so late into my life to try me?

I have just spent three hours getting my old Apple I Phone to sync with my new very smart 7.06 model.  Am I talking your language? Cause if so I need you in my life.

The saga is too long, too complicated and would bore you but if I say old software not only on my computer but on the phone, needed upgrading, computer not compatible with new upgrade, phone in two different names …….  You, who cheerfully and confidently punch a couple of keys to fix any techo problem would know how to fix this  in a jiffy.

I learned to type on the metal rimmed keys of an old Remmington that beside ripping the quicks of your finger nails they needed the strength of Samson to depress the keys to leave their metal imprint on the page.  You could say  I am like stone-age man who has been given a box of matches and a packet of fire-lighters where all he has ever known is the act of rubbing two sticks together to make fire.

I am completely challenged when it comes to understanding how a computer works, the penny dropping moment of understanding is hard won.  In my defense I do try.  It’s just that I seem to come to the solution so tardily. We used to call it Sod’s Law in my day that you tried every way but which way before success came.

Still I did it!  I transferred, strike transferred, I synced all my data from one mobile to the newie. I can put the frustration behind me until the next challenge.

Then once more I will say but  not in a shy way  – regrets I have a few…….

Rehearsing a Speech for Success

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Winston Churchill 1941
Winston Churchill 1941

Winston Churchill’s war time speeches inspired a nation to overcome what appeared to be insurmountable odds. But few knew that  Churchill suffered from a speech impediment, he had trouble with the letter ‘s’ which he pronounced as ‘sh.’ After consulting the finest specialist of the day he was advised that there was nothing clinically wrong with him and that all that was needed was ‘perseverance and practice.’  Which he did.  It is documented that he spent up to eight hours rehearsing a speech.

When I first started speaking in public I rehearsed endlessly.  It  became a repetitious mind numbing recitation. I thought of it as a necessary exercise to safeguard to myself from the effects of stage fright which froze my brain and tightened my breathing. I determined that if I mastered the rhythm and flow, the pace, the pause, the open stance of body image and practiced putting the oomph into the delivery then no matter what amount of flight or fight adrenalin my system pumped into my body, I too like Winston would over come and let people see the real lectern me.

It took years before I realised that beyond the first few fresh run-throughs my endless rehearsals were simply reinforcing my fears. What were my feelings and thoughts as I rehearsed over and over? My thorough and diligent practice focused on stage fright, being terrified at the lectern and the humiliation of being swamped by nerves.

When you rehearse with an underlying structure of fear that is what you will create at the lectern. You’re telling your subconscious that you expect to forget your words, to have a dry mouth, to shake, to have stomach churns, to increase your heart beat and tighten your breathing.  Grinding  your fears so resolutely into your psyche that you may even emotionally throw the ‘towel in’ halfway through an oration.

Stage fright is a constant for some people, it is for me. It’s a taken. You acknowledge it and allow it to be, knowing that the flight and fright syndrome will always power you. When you don’t fight it – it loses its fearful intensity.

My enlightened rule of thumb for rehearsing was stumbled upon by accident when I was driving to take part in yet another speech contest.  I was sick with nerves.  I stopped the car and  there on the side of the road I decided that if I could not have fun at the lectern then public speaking was not for me.   What is the saying – when you need it the teacher will appear? I remembered vaguely an article on the power of visualisation and the rest is history. Oh and the bonus was I started to win speech contests! Now this is what I teach others about rehearsing a speech –

Always set your intention, before you speak out loud your speech, to visualise yourself at a lectern, you are smiling, the audience is returning that joyful energy twofold, intent on your words, connecting with you at an authentic level. Run through the speech a few times until the words flow organically, replacing any trip-up words or phrases with your language that is comfortable to you.

On the day, just  before you give your speech take a quiet moment – acknowledge your fears tell them its okay, then visualise an image of yourself walking to the platform, you are looking relaxed, you see yourself at the lectern and smile. As you speak you have sense a knowing that you are truly connecting with your audience and they are loving it. Hear the applause, you are having feeling good, receiving the affirmation with delight.

Then go sock it to them.

A slap on the butt of consciousness – 3 Lessons

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IMG_4771
Falling Back to Earth by Cai Guo-Qiang

Yesterday three lessons came home to me soundly, like a slap on the butt of consciousness.

I was taken to see the Illusionist and an exhibition at the Gallery of Modern Art in Brisbane yesterday.  My daughter had booked months before for this amazing show for the family but her husband had to work and I was invited along in his place.  I almost didn’t go.  I was deeply into my enneagramatic #2 at this stage, the others-before-me emotional bolthole that I frequent. I reason I have genuinely a lot of work to do and don’t want to stand in her way – ‘Surely one of your friends…?’ I ask. She looks hurt ‘No Mum I offered it to you.’  There was disappointment in her voice.  Like Robin hearing the call of Batman my server #2 leapt into action, how could I let her down ‘then of course I will come.’  Where was what I wanted in this equation?  My heart expands with joy with the impact of live art whether it be a play, a show or a stunning exhibition and yet – I was as usual dumbing down my desire, work to do I should be at the computer face instead of out enjoying myself. The day was magnificent beyond my wildest expectations it renewed me, it filled me with inspiration and wonder.


UnknownLesson #1: don’t deny your heart — grab each and every opportunity to make your heart sing.

The Illusionist Show was a collection of six magic maestros from around the globe all performing their signature magic art. I refuse to call these tricks.  Each illustration of their magical smoke and mirrors prowess so brilliantly conceived and delivered. The theatrical production of strobe lighting, three dimensional viewing and pulsing music filled your senses and each magic completion left you in awe.  There was talk from people in the interval about how the ‘trick’ was done ‘didn’t you see his hand up his sleeve?’ I moved away I did not want anything to interfere with my childlike wonder, like my grand daughters, I was simply in awe of the mystery.

 

smell-flower-summer-present-momentLesson #2: when you are in the ‘how’ you loose the magic. All you have to do is simply be present in the moment and you will be taken upon a technicolour joyful ride beyond your wildest senses.

The exhibition of Cai Guo-Qiang’s Falling Back to Earth with 99 life size animals from every hemisphere of the globe drinking from a large pool of sky blue water was in contrast serene, no music, no frenzied lighting no backdrops simply a steady drop of water to break the tension of the pale blue pool that rippled softly to the shore.   Of course we all read into it what we wanted, there the artist’s explanation and also in his gravity defying flying wolves exhibition.  We don’t all follow in an orderly conformist opinion even if we glimpse an understanding of the artistic intention.  Art goes beyond the creator and touches others in ways the artist could not imagine.

 

UnknownLesson #3 we each see what we want to see but if we are open and still to truly absorb, we see what we need to see.

And one final lesson: Receiving with an open heart is just as beautiful as giving – truly grateful for a magical day.

 

New Moon+New Year=Propitious Beginnings

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Evidently the configuration of the planets coupled with a new moon on New Year’s Day makes it propitious for out with the old and birthing the new.  And if you couple this event with some sort of symbolic ceremony it can produce powerful results.

I have lost count of my swings of mood when it comes to New Year resolutions.  So many well-intentioned carefully worded I will be better, better, best slips of paper tucked into esoteric books only to be forgotten by the end of January.  And many end of the year’s cynicisms – no I never keep them so why make them – only to find the pendulum had fully swung the next year to sit with the new diary and my finest notepaper to write once again my hopes for improvement.

The trouble with most of my resolutions is the rigidity and censoring that I pen as my most desirable attributes for the following year. I’m sure this type of resolution is common to most I will diet and lose 5/10/ 15 kg (this a standard resolution for me repeated on all wishful thinking years) I will give up alcohol, carbs, chocolate and confectionary – I will be more patient, more forgiving – I will walk for 40 minutes a day and do stretches for another 30 minutes – I will be a better partner/friend/mother/sister – I will learn to reverse park better …. And the list goes on.

 Of course the dynamic new corporate agers would immediately say the reason they failed was because there was no identified goal, no time frame, no motivation.  No picture on the fridge of herself looking  a cool babe in a previously owned bikini or no image of her car reverse parked tidily within a cm  of the middle of the white lines.

But those on the road to enlightenment would say where are you placing the energy? The brain is not fooled it knows the ego’s pattern’s preferred tried and tested path for promised diets, exercise and reverse parking and will happily takes you for the ride through the well-worn structure.  Of course if you implement your will you might yo-yo for a while but in the end the old habits will prevail.

This New Year looks as though it might be a ball-breaker (according to the astrologers) so I’m working on a neat little ceremony to seal the my intentions for 2014.  But as I work towards the light I will give the universe every opportunity to do its magic by giving each intention its deserved vibration.  Instead of ‘must lose weight/give up the perceived evils and exercise’ it will be  –With gratitude I choose to honour my body and health.

 Not sure how to get my vibrations going in the right direction when reverse parking though – any thoughts gratefully received.

Needed Mentor Co-op for Writers and Artists

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alphabet-15461_150During the Renaissance it was the fashion for aspiring artists to attract wealthy patrons who supported the struggling artist or writer and who acted like an agent in finding the right clients for their protégé.  Today if you don’t have the an agent it means you have to do the hard yards to promote yourself.

The disparaging label of self-promoter is often wrongly given to people who network with ease,  people whose nature thrives in the milieu of social networking. How incredibly fortunate you are if you are creative as well as a natural born marketer.

But for the vast majority of us creative folk the marketing of ourselves and our products is an internal battle that is hard fought with the knowledge that if we want to sell or promote our work it comes down to DIY. Each avenue of self-promotion that we study is hampered with fear about our capability to make it work.

How many thousands of writers and artists out in the world know that their lifelong expression of their heart is the only path for them.  Accepting that each day of working at their craft learning, experimenting and honing their creation will be without remuneration of any kind. But then it is complete and for us writers we hawk our manuscripts around the publishing house and for the artists it is the galleries.

Dealing emotionally with the rejections before trying again and again. Buoyed by the stories of house name authors who met the same fate with their first work.  Agatha Christie, five years of rejection, J K Rowling, C S Lewis, Stephen King with his first novel Carrie, Dan Brown’s Da Vinci Code was rejected because it was ‘so badly written,’ eventually picked up by Doubleday and went on to sell 80 million copies world wide and Margaret Mitchell received 38 rejections before her epic work Gone with the Wind was published.

Self publishing of course is a good way to get your work out there but you still have to market it. To me there are few creatives who have that strong action based networking desire and know-how to promote their work.  They would rather be telling the story than selling the story.

What myself and these fellow artists need is a co-operative mentor, a group of people who are there to encourage, advise, guide and when the final product is finished, to promote it. Bit like The Den on ABC television where mentors invest in small operations wanting to grow into full bloom abundance and taking a cut of the business.

Could we make it happen ?What do you think?

Technicolor Mind Chatter

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IMG_4657I love a guided meditation where a mellifluous voice tells me to take a deep breath in… tense the muscles…. and relax….   acknowledge the grey chatter of the mind and let it float on by.

And in my mind chatter phase I remember I need to take the fish from the freezer for dinner and that the kitchen floor needs a good scrub.  These willow wisp thoughts float by before my mind tries once more to establish its dominion before succumbing to the joys of surfing the deep.  Why grey it asks surely beige would be better. Grey is associated with external aging but beige as in cardigan says more about the mindset, don’t you think?  I wiggle in my chair but Deepak Chopra’s voice is willing me back ‘focus on the breath, focus on the breath.’

Mind chatter is not simply isolated to a meditation practice.  My mind  is in a constant state of mental chatter and I have found my internal chat show like Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat comes in many colours. Let me share.

Hot Pink chatter is reserved for those  concepts that have a bit of verve, a peeve or a particular hobby-horse, anything where you feel a lick of righteous passion.  My hot pink state is so seductive it makes me feel I’m intelligent and I have something valuable to contribute. My mind immediately has  free rein to happily strap me in for a ride through the shiny worn pathways of  righteous concerns about anything and nothing. It is simply a diversion, a strategy for escaping doing what I love.

White – ah ‘white chatter‘ is barely a breeze of a blissful whisper when I see a newborn baby, see an expression of love or allow myself to be vulnerable and innocent. Instantly it grounds me in the moment.No wonder white light is used for healing and supposedly that dying walk through the tunnel to the light.

My creative thinking colour I decide is  green, flowing from the calming, nourishing green of my heart chakra.  Red chatter is for that moment when the anger will no longer be suppressed and needs oxygen. But ‘purple‘ that is a different story entirely.

The bruising purple will light up my neural pathways. Its chatter masquerades behind a sense of  dignity and honour. It is about being right and it is the most insidious of mind games that an ego employs. So subtle, the repetitive thoughts seemingly well-intentioned and thoroughly considered, so relentless till you take action.  Resolving  ‘purple chatter’ tension always  brings regrets.

What about yellow? Surely sunshine all the way……..

Relax, deep breath in let the grey chatter of your mind float on by.